2025 Intention Words – Trust, Allow & Flow

It’s that time of the year again. One year has ends and another has begun. It’s become a tradition to choose a word or two or three as my guiding intention for the year (with plenty of room for change or additions of course).

1) Trust: I already touched on this one a couple posts ago. Deepening my trust is about trusting in myself, in my higher self, in my intuition and my knowing and in a harmonious mind body spirit connection and especially learning to trust the wisdom in my body. In 2024, I realized that I’ve been very disconnected from my body wisdom and haven’t listened to it or trusted it for most of my life. I’m on an exploratory inner journey to form a trusting, loving relationship with my body, and the beautiful tapestry of energy between my body, mind and spirit.

For me, trust is also about trusting God/Goddess, the divine, the universal flow, the magic of it all and a thousand other names and words I could use to describe that infinite magical energy, in whatever form or shape you connect with Them.

When I am trusting in myself and my higher self is aligned with the divine, that’s where the magic happens, and everything flows. I’m getting ahead of myself though. If I had to sum up what trust means to me and where I’m wanting to grow, I would say it is encapsulated in Rumi’s famous poem the guesthouse, which may be my favorite poem of all time. Really this poem likely encapsulates all my intention words but again I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Guesthouse by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

2) Allow: Likewise, I know I previously wrote about my connections with the word allow during a powerful weekend workshop at Kripalu with Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy. When I think of what allow means for me, I am drawn time and time again to Danna Faulds’ poem by the same name. The biggest thing for me with allow is simply allowing whatever comes up and not pushing away emotions, sensations or experiences that are uncomfortable. It also means allowing the flow of life, not resisting, for even the most ecstatic, magical moment will end and flow into the next.

Allow by Danna Faulds

There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a
stream and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting it all in –
the wild and the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes.

3) Flow: Ah the word I keep getting ahead of myself for! Originally, my intention words for 2025 were going to be trust and allow. It seemed quite straightforward after all; they were the words that had come to me in the culmination of the powerful couples yoga therapy retreat in the fall, almost a culmination of 2024 in some ways. But then the word flow kept well flowing into my mind as this beautiful word that captured so much of what I wanted to embody in 2025. To flow easefully and gracefully like my namesake sacred river in India, the Kalindi river. Briefly, I considered making my intention words trust and flow and taking out allow; however, Danna Faulds’ poignant Allow poem would strike up in my consciousness like a lightning bolt. That was how all three words, trust, allow and flow, made their way into being my intention words for 2025. Trusting and allowing almost forming this immense foundation for flow to do its flowing thing. Flowing not forcing or resisting. A wise older friend recently shared a secret to leading a contented life. And it was basically summed up through the word flow. For me, flow is where the magic happens; where I can feel myself as part of the beautiful divine dance of magic, flowing all around us. The following poem is one I wrote, meditating on the concept of flow during a recent cold plunge experience.

Flow

Exhale
Trust
Allow
Flow

Inhale
Trust
Allow
Flow

I find fascinating
The way
What’s initially
Pleasurable
Over time
Can turn
Painful
And how
What’s initially
Painful
Can turn to
Ecstasy

Exhale
Ex
Hale
E
E
E
E
E
E
E

Thermal cycles
Hot cold
Dancing
With extremes
Pleasure to Pain
Pain to healing
Transformation
Rebirth

Inhale
Trust
Allow

Exhale
Flow

Cells
Shifting
Recalibration

Dna
Unraveling
Weaving
Balancing

Energy
Body
And flesh
In perfect
Harmony

Matter
And energy
Energy
And matter

It’s
All
Ener
gy

Spirit
Ritual
Ty

Flow
Let it all
Flow
It’s all
A dance
Multicolored
Ribbons
Of light
Dancing
Dancing

Stillness
In the icy depths
Of a cold plunge
Peace
Power
Unity
Release
Grace

Flow
Allow
Trust
Inhale

Trust
Flow
Allow
Exhale

Just be
Flow

Rising from the flames

Exhale

A dying
An undoing
A surrender
A becoming
A transforming
A remembering

Inhale

A seeing
Truly seeing
The magic
The Spiraling
Flows
Of energy

In me
Around me
In and around us
Divinity
Here now
Everywhere

Exhale

I am held
By the Great Mother
Her healing hands
Gently rock me
Rest child
She whispers
Let me wash away
Your sorrows
Let me breathe
Your hopes and dreams
Into being

Inhale

I meet Sita in fire
And she pours
Life giving heat
Into me

Exhale

I rise
From the ashes
Of my old self
Baptized
By the magic of creation
Shiva dancing
Throat burning, blazing
The eternal Nataraj dance
Of destruction
Of what no longer serves
And transmutational alchemy
To birth the new
Goddess rising
Phoenix reborn

Inhale

Krishna reaching out
A loving hand
The whisper of a flute melody
Beckoning
Come dance with me

Exhale

Growth Cycles, the Hero’s Journey & Archetypes

Lately, I’ve been reading about and pondering growth cycles, archetypes and the oft called “hero’s journey” and have found inspiration from a podcast episode that talks about states of consciousness and growth cycles as it relates to the ancient yogic idea of yugas (link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0vaGiddGX6PEgHZt1wX7B0?si=0P2PSLMYTm6qFJlQX_7onQ) as well as from “Writing Archetypical Character Arcs” by K.M. Weiland. This book not only discusses the quintessential hero’s journey but also several other key archetypical cycles we humans often go through on our life journeys and which we can find mirrored in the collective unconscious in the form of stories and myths.

1) Growth cycles: The part of the podcast that I found especially profound related to the idea that we are in some stage of a growth cycle whether we are aware of it or not. This cycle roughly follows the pattern of first a plateau (I see this as the status quo comfort zone if you will) followed by a fall from the plateau (aka something uncomfortable happens that challenges me to grow in some way; I fall off the comfort zone plateau). After this again comes a rise that will take me – if I meet the growth call – to a new plateau higher than the previous one. I see this as I gain new wings and learn to fly up to that higher plateau. Then I stay there for some time (it could be a long or short while depending on the type of cycle since there are tiny micro cycles and larger macro ones) before the cycle continues with a new fall and new rise to a plateau that is once again higher (where higher here just means a new degree of growth or healing or awareness) than the last. After hearing this podcast and this description, I had a lightbulb go off inside of me. Aha! I could track these patterns within my own life in big and small ways, including some small micro cycles within larger macro cycles. The author of the podcast posited that with awareness that we all go through these cycles, we can experience perhaps a little less suffering when we are in a fall which generally feels a little uncomfortable at best to a full-blown dark night of soul despair at worst. It hasn’t completely taken away the sting of my own fall parts of the cycle, but it has helped me to hold onto a little more equanimity, even accounting for the times where in a particularly tricky fall I forget all about this wisdom.

2) Archetypes: While I read the book on archetypes several weeks after the podcast on growth cycles, I’ve been struck by their interrelatedness. Each growth cycle is my own personal hero’s journey, whether that’s a mini one completed all in a day or week or a larger one composing of months or years. What lit me up about the archetypes book was the expansion beyond just the hero’s journey though. The author shared that in fact what stories and myths and books showcase as the hero’s journey is just one of the archetypical life journeys.

What we think of as the hero’s journey is part of what’s considered the FIRST ACT or approximately the first 30 years of life. It consists of (at least as outlined in this book) childhood which is described as a flat arc, i.e. more of a plateau on a larger scale integrating a previous rise, the maiden progressive arc (progressive meaning there is a fall and then rise), the lover flat arc and then the hero’s arc many know well.

The first third of life transitions to what-happens-after-the-happily- ever-after-of-stories, the SECOND ACT of life, the period between around age 30 to age 60, ushered in by the flat parent arc (regardless of whether or not someone has children of their own). The parent arc is followed by the progressive queen arc, after which comes the flat ruler arc and then the king arc, the last second act progressive arc.

Elderhood, the THIRD ACT of life from around 60 to end of life, is initiated by the flat elder arc which is then followed by the progressive crone arc. And lastly the flat mentor arc followed by the progressive mage arc.

The idea is that each of the growth cycles builds on the previous one. And if you don’t “graduate” from a lesson, you may progress chronologically yet remain stuck in the shadow or negative arc sides. For instance, the lesson in the king arc is to relinquish power and let the queen complete her arc lesson and take over rulership of the metaphorical kingdom. If the king doesn’t give up power, he could become a tyrant, exhibiting the aggressive shadow of that role. Back to our original hero’s journey, if our hero doesn’t heed the call and complete their lesson, they could remain stuck in the shadow arcs of coward or bully.

I may go into some more of the details in later blogs yet recommend this book to get the full scoop in a much more eloquently shared way. For me, reading about these archetypes opened my eyes to an awareness of life patterns both for myself and others. And while in the book these archetypes were laid out in a linear fashion as it related to good story writing, life is never really so linear. There are growth cycles within growth cycles and what is inner child work and healing if not tying up earlier arc loose ends that hadn’t been worked through yet.

Neuroscience & Yoga Therapy

I feel like I’ve been a sponge the last few weeks and months. You know the good kind of sponge. Soaking up new learnings left and right. It’s left me in this interesting, almost oversaturated, marination state where I am eager to integrate and apply and share yet also a little overwhelmed on where and how to start. This blog post is my highlight data dump (with some of the topics to likely be explored in more depth at a later date) if you will on recent learnings and insights from life and more specifically from an insightful “Calming an Overactive Brain” seminar with William Sieber as well as an incredible “Deepening Your Relationship” weekend couples retreat at Kripalu with Michael Lee, the founder of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy. Without further ado …

1) 20-second reset: This was a great tip from the “Calming an Overactive Brain” seminar. The premise is we are absolutely able to handle a good amount of stress (Remember? The thing we’re told is not good for us?) provided we take short breaks between stressors. This will give our brains a chance to reset and better be able to handle the next stressor. Dr. Sieber suggested a 20-second reset, basically just taking about 20 seconds to take a few long, slow inhale and exhale breaths, where the exhale is ideally longer than the inhale. He suggested picking something like after hitting send on each email, between meetings, every time you use the bathroom or go from one room to another, or any repetitive daily task to build the habit and increase the chances of remembering to do the reset after the next stressor.

2) Worry box: This is another idea from the “Calming an Overactive Brain” seminar. Have an anxiety or worry that starts consuming you at inopportune times? Um yes definitely raising my hand here. The idea with a worry box is that I would write down that worry on a piece of paper and schedule when I can worry about it. Then I put it in a box and keep adding for each additional worry. Each day I check the box and see what I am allowed to worry about when. Funnily enough, I rarely want to worry about that once all-consuming worry during the scheduled worry time! Dr. Sieber talked about the value of this from a perspective of delaying gratification (worrying about what I want to worry about now in this case) being a much smarter approach than denial. Denial after all is rough – it says no I can’t ever worry about this thing! Then that denial feels impossible, so I cave in and worry now. Delaying the worry means I’m not dismissing my worries; I’m just saying hey maybe now isn’t the necessary moment for that worry. It gives me a choice.

3) Calm down by getting hyped up: I found this one especially fascinating. Dr. Sieber shared that if you’re really anxious, don’t try to calm down right away. It will work better if you first do a few minutes of some kind of intense activity (say a minute of jumping jacks) that will raise your heartrate above what it currently is and then you’ll have an easier time calming down and relaxing after that.

4) Trust & allow: Flowing from the brain seminar to the yoga therapy retreat a few weeks later, the learning style shifted away from didactic to experiential and somatic, a style incredibly powerful and also difficult for me to put into words. Trust and allow came to me near the end of the retreat after the first night, full next day followed by an individual yoga therapy session on the second day. These words feel like a culmination of trying to verbalize a profound embodied experience. I felt like for maybe the first time in my life, my mind took a back seat and allowed my body wisdom to be in charge and in that I felt a deep sense of self-trust in my body, something that I have been disconnected from. Allow whispered into my body as well since I had to allow whatever was coming up in the embodied present and not push away and resist discomfort whether physical or emotional or mental and also not cling to pleasure or positive things and then judge other moments harshly against that. Simply allow and trust in myself and the flow of life, finding perhaps a kind of equanimity. There is a lot more I could say about this retreat since felt it really was transformative and life-changing for me on many levels yet will save that for future writing integration experiments.

5) “I love you and I wish you well today”: I thought this was a simple and profound practice shared by Michael Lee in the Yoga Therapy Couple retreat. He shared that he started a practice where each morning he tells his partner he loves her and he wishes her well in her day in some way general or more specific. My husband and I have been practicing this since the retreat and have found it really nice. I’ve also been thinking about this in relation to my relationship with myself, with the idea of also wishing myself well today. With the idea of this becoming a loving kindness meditation for myself, my husband, family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, the whole world, an offering and prayer of love and wellbeing and peace.

6) Exhale: This ties in with both the brain seminar and yoga therapy retreat. It’s certainly not a new concept but rather is something I had an aha embodied moment of remembering oh wow this is what it feels like to exhale. I wrote the below poem to try to encapsulate that feeling just a little bit, a feeling I am trying to practice returning to again and again.

Exhale
Just exhale
Breathe out
Let go
Let God
Surrender
Flow
Fly
Be free

Trust
The inhale
Will happen
Just exhale
Again
And again
Until the final exhale
Of this life

We never know
How many exhales
We have left
In this life
Savor each one
Knowing
It is a gift
Exhale

Balance Beams & Liminal Spaces

This blog was originally going to be about marinating in liminal spaces and then, well, I was meditating outside and the leaves were falling around me and the topic of balance entered into my awareness. Maybe it’s the fact that we just entered Libra season astrologically speaking (at the time my initial writing of this), the sign of balance, not to mention the autumn equinox with day and night equal lengths. One thing led to another and here we are with a blog on liminal spaces and balance beams and who knows what else since I am totally writing this stream of consciousness style. Welcome to Kalindi’s mind musings. The 1, 2, 3 numberings and such that follow are in no way reflective of any semblance of order. Proceed at your own reading risk.

1) Liminal spaces: Liminal spaces are physical, mental, emotional and/or spiritual seasons of transition, of uncertainty, of unmaking the old and weaving the new in a caterpillar cocoon fashion. These phases can feel like the ground is less solid than usual or like floating in a dreamworld trying to decipher what’s real, what’s alive and sacred for me right now. What kind of butterfly do I want to emerge as when I come out of my cocoon. For a while I was both unaware of and then resisting the idea of being in a liminal space. More recently I have started to accept and perhaps even embrace the liminality. Cocoons can be quite cozy, am I right? Until I got the jolt on the head about balance. Before that though, I’ll share this poem I wrote recently on liminal spaces for a little further exploration into that topic.

Liminal space
Spaces physical, mental, emotional spiritual
Of transition, uncertainty, unknown
Of possibility and transformation
The caterpillar waiting praying to emerge
As a butterfly
The Phoenix burst into flame
In ashes
Waiting to be reborn

I’m a chameleon
Shape-shifting
Changing colors
Turning invisible
It’s my superpower
And my kryptonite
I can be anyone or anything
I can see all the threads
Of possibilities and perspectives
So many colors
So many energies
Maybe this is why I’ve never been able to figure out my Myers Briggs type or enneagram?
Find your spirit animal – what if I have 10?

I’m marinating in this liminal space
A womb of creation
Patiently waiting
Healing, balancing
Until I emerge
A chameleon reborn
As a shape shifting dragon
Ready to fly

I’m a shape shifting dragon
Sometimes big
Sometimes small
Sometimes breathing fire
Sometimes shedding tears
Sometimes fast
Sometimes slow
Sometimes golden like the sun
Sometimes shimmery turquoise like the sea

From chameleon to dragon and back
I’m a part of everything
And everything is a part of me
I’m fluid, flowing, shifting
Air to earth
Water to fire
Elements merging
And swirling
And caressing
In a kaleidoscope of colors
Visble and invisible
I dance on the edges
Of liminal space
And I am
Enough

2) Balance beams – don’t get too comfy in one spot: I’ve always been someone that craves comfort and security. Apparently as a little kid, when my mom moved one piece of furniture slightly, I had a small meltdown. Change!? Definitely not. I also am someone who longs for feeling the magic of life and if I could have it my way having every moment feel completely magical and joyous and loving with no worries or cares in the world would be amazing. So basically a fantasy magical dreamworld. The thing is though, and this was the jolt, I’m not here to hide away in my fantasy imagination worlds. I can definitely visit there and often but I have to live here, now, in each moment of life which is going to include the challenging ones and the mundane ones. And there’s a secret in that too. The magic is in the fantasy world wanderings absolutely and it’s amazing. And the magic is also in the mundane and challenging.

It’s in learning to walk my own personal balance beam, with spirit fantasy world on one side and this world on the other. It’s learning to balance work and play. Laughter and tears. Speaking and listening. Stillness and movement. Music and silence. Hot and cold. Inhaling and exhaling. It’s eating nourishing whole foods – not too much and not too little. It’s learning to do everything in balance. Not too much and not too little. It’s seeing positive and negative simply as energy, two halves of a magic coin. And as I learned in my childhood (and adult) beloved fantasy novels, magic (energy) is neither good or bad, it’s about what I do with it, how I see it, how I use it, how I balance it. So how does this tie in with the liminal space exploration? Great question. I think where I was getting with that is that I was noticing myself having some fear about coming out of the liminal space when that time was right. And there is the tie to the balancing act. Liminal cocoon spaces and spreading wings in the next butterfly (or dragon) incarnation.

3) It’s a daily practice. The epiphanies, the elaborate ceremonies and rituals, the mystical awakenings and experiences. They are amazing. They are magic. The part that sometimes gets forgotten though is the daily practice that must come after. The epiphanies and awakenings are gifts of inspiration. They are like falling in love. Like a lightning bolt. Like sky diving. Loving though both self and others, that is the ultimate balancing beam experiment. To love is a daily practice, a vow. It involves mental discipline (you know … to quiet those critical and fearful thoughts that like to get in the way of love), boundaries, awareness and infinite patience. It is a practice of doing my best each day, knowing that my best will change, just like each day changes. It’s realizing that life is a giant liminal space made up of a tapestry of a thousand liminal space weavings. It is an undoing and becoming in a beautiful spiral infinity loop journey to ever deepening depths of divine love.

I’d like to end with Rumi’s The Guest House, the first and so far, only poem I’ve memorized. I think it embodies a lot of the ideas I’ve been trying to share and expresses them much more eloquently.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and
invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Breaking the chains

Once upon a time
There was a young girl
She walked with dragons
And fairies and elves
She played in the woods
And knew the truth
And touched the magic
She was pure love and magic

The villagers however
Grew afraid
Who was this little girl
Her powers shining so bright?
No no this won’t do at all
She can’t be so bright
It will dim our light
We must all be the same
No one too bright

This might hurt a little
they told her
But you’ll get used to it
After a while
You won’t even
Remember they are there!
And then you’ll be like us
Safe contained the same
It’ll be better that way
You’ll see

And then they put on the chains
The pain was so blinding
So disconcerting
The little girl
Completey blacked out
And then she forgot
That she had chains at all
She also forgot her magic
Her light
Now she was
Just like everyone else

The little girl grew up
And she’s been been walking
Walking through life
Each step heavy
So heavy
Her limbs
Weighted down
By iron chains
Fear
Scarcity
Abandonment
Indecisiveness
Defensiveness
Anger
Hate
Deceipt
Ignorance
Selfishness
Shame
Guilt

They tug
At her limbs
Cut into her flesh
And draw blood
Leaving gaping wounds
In their wake
As she hobbles
And limps
Feverish
Trying to step forward
While being dragged back

One day
Her old friends
The dragons and fairies
And elves
The creatures of the woods
The trees and the sun and the moon
They came to her
Excited
They’d finally found
The keys
To open the chains
They joyfully
Brought them to her
But the girl didn’t see them
Didn’t see the keys
Didn’t know
She wore chains
She just thought
Pain and suffering
Gaping wounds
Shame
And fear
All those heavy
Weights
She thought they
Were her

Dejected
All the creatures
Went back to the forest
All except one
A little dragon
Smaller and weaker
Than the rest
No bigger than the size
Of your hand
Often teased
This dragon
Had loved the little girl
Most of all
Because the little girl
Had been kind to her
Had seen her as magical and amazing
Not small and weak
So the little dragon
Decided
I won’t give up
And she stuck by the girl
Even though the girl
Didn’t notice her
The dragon stayed
Anyway
And what’s more
With all her little dragon
Strength
She helped to
Push and pull
The chains
The girl was dragging

And as for the girl
Well suddenly
She had glimpses
A momentary awareness
Of what it felt like
To have her heavy burden
Lifted
Shared
Even just a little
She could feel
Beneath
The heavy chains
A flickering light
Faint, rusty
But somehow still bright
Coming from
Deep within her
In her core
Was that called?
Her heart?

In that moment
The little dragon
Spread its tiny wings
And hopped directly
Onto the girls
Chest
Clinging there
In an awkward dragon hug
And the dragon gave the girl
All the love the girl had given her
Like a mirror reflecting the sun

And as the light and love
From the little dragon
Poured into the girl
The girls light seed
Pulsed stronger
And stronger
Until that seed
Of love
Compassion
Light
Kindness
Ease
Peace
Courage
Flow
Joy
Magic
Expanded
And expanded
Until it exploded
Into a forest
Of stars
Into a meadow
Of trees
Into an ocean
Of flowers
Embracing
Dissolving
Integrating
Healing
The chains
Until
They went back
Into the earth
Recycled
Nutrients
For growth

And the little dragon
Well
She grew
And she grew
And she lifted the girl
On her back
And together
They soared
Wild and free
Spreading love seeds
In brilliant rainbows of light
To all whose path they crossed
Recycling more chains
Bravely venturing out
Knowing no chains
Could ever keep them small
Again

Tilling my inner garden

Spiraling layers of healing
Tilling my inner garden
Pulling out the weeds
Again and again
Planting new seeds
Watching some flourish
Watching some flounder
And need extra care
Extra tenderness
Working the soil
Day after day
Each day anew
Softening expectations
Of perfection
Of destination
Of success
And simply
Sitting with
Working with
What is
Loving what is
Even if it’s a plant
That’s dying
Trust its death
To usher in
A new life
A new seed
In time
Be patient
Love the good days
And bad days alike
Love the harvests
As much as the barren winters
Where roots withdraw
And seeds hibernate
Loving my inner garden
Making a home
Within myself
Always
Moment
After moment
Breath
After breath
Spiraling layers of healing
As I tend my inner garden
As I water it
With my tears
As I sing to it
As I hold it
As I simply
Am

Photo by David Alberto Carmona Coto on Pexels.com

Dating & Falling in Love with Yourself

I’ve been reflecting lately about the concepts of dating, falling in love and self-love. I’m someone who generally speaking has an easier time trusting, accepting and loving others more than myself. I include trust, acceptance and love because I was recently part of a discussion where trust and acceptance were posited as key ingredients for love and that idea resonated. I think compassion should get thrown in the love pot as well as a concept of understanding, knowing and seeing someone deeply and intimately. I took this concept a step further and found myself pondering the early stages of dating and falling in love and reflecting on beautiful memories of these initial stages of love in my own life with my now husband.

Then a strange question popped into my head – I wonder what dating and falling in love with myself would be like? I wonder what it would be like to feel that kind of intimacy, love, trust, acceptance, understand and deep knowing of myself? As someone who has struggled with self-worth issues most of my life, these basic concepts seemed rather radical and daunting for me.

I realize this blog has started off pretty heavy, so to lighten the mood I’ll conclude by sharing some ways I’ve recently gone on “dates” with myself. You’ll notice these are mostly all introverted activities in the realm of a mini or larger retreat. Add any extroverted activities you feel inspired to, but I would suggest including at least somewhere it’s just you, yourself and I – that’s where the real getting to know yourself deeply magic happens.

I enjoyed quite a few of these activities at a recent weekend while my partner was away for work yet picking just one works great too. I recommend a combination of mini (anywhere from a 20-minute to an hour or two practice or exercise) and macro (a day, weekend or longer) “self-retreats” for optimal dating yourself time … whatever works best for you.

1) Take a long, sensuous bath while listening to meditative music.

2) Make and enjoy a candlelight dinner with yourself.

3) Spend time outside! If the weather is warm, sit outside and read or write or just enjoy a good cup of coffee or tea … whatever floats your boat. Perhaps some gentle outdoor stretches or yoga might entice you? Or maybe a walk or bike ride?

4) Blast the music, dance and sing or just lie down and feel the pulse of the melodies.

5) Meditate. This could be “traditional” or something totally unique. All of the above preceding date ideas totally count as meditation forms! Yup even the dinner – it’s called a mindful eating meditation. It could be journaling or even writing poetry. It could be musical (mantras, kirtan, playing music that you feel in your soul while you sit or dance) or it could be silent. This is your time for you to commune with yourself, specifically your Higher Self and the Divine (however you connect to these ideas), the part of you that is so in love with you already it would take your breath away and they are just waiting for you to feel that unconditional love within you.

6) Look up at the stars and the moon. I did this and felt inspired to write a poem about it the other night and so will share that to end this blog.

Night Magic

Next time it’s night out
Instead of retreating
To your beds
And blanket forts
Nestled in the comforting safety
Of indoors

Sit outside instead
Even just for a few breaths
Look up at the stars
At the waxing glowing moon
At the shadows of trees
Framing the horizon

Breathe in
The crisp
Late summer
Almost fall
Night air
Can you smell the freshness?
The moss and pine and dewy grass?

Listen
Can you hear
The humming of the crickets?
A collective om nature
Can you hear the rustle in the brush?
A deer?
A fox?
A bobcat?
Or perhaps the family of wild turkeys
Settling down for the night

Can you feel the aliveness
The heightened energy
Of night
So different from day
Let your heartbeat sync
With the whisper of the trees
And creatures of the sky and the forest
You are home
This is magic

Now only one question remains
Why haven’t I been doing this all summer?

Good night moon
Good night trees
Good night stars
Good night grass
Good night animals
Good night Maine

Trust, Surrender, Forgiveness and Healing

The other day, when I was getting dressed, I was moving too quickly and carelessly and banged my elbow. Having bumped into things and banged various appendages more times in my life than I can remember, I was expecting the pain to subside in a few minutes. This time the pain persisted throughout the day and the next and I found myself rather begrudgingly presented with a life lesson/growth challenge. I was especially upset because I was hoping to play in a benefit tennis tournament coming up and needed my dominant right hand/elbow in full working, pain free order … thank you very much. As silly as it sounds … it’s just a banged-up elbow, right … I felt like I was wrestling with a wildfire trying to tame it.

Will it be better tomorrow? Will I be able to play in a few days? For the tournament? What if it’s better in time for the tournament but not better beforehand to allow me to practice and get ready? What if I can’t play and have to suffer the disappointment and embarrassment of not being able to play because I banged my elbow. (On a side note … why does banging an elbow carry more stigma than say tripping and spraining an ankle?)

And, of course, while all this inner dialogue is raging, I am compulsively doing everything possible to heal my elbow. Ice, all the healing balms in the house from CBD cream to arnica rub, to Voltaren. And don’t forget compulsively testing range of motion and what movements elicited pain every few minutes. Somewhere in the depths of this pattern, this autoplay pattern, I had enacted many times before in my life … any time really some unexpected injury or illness or stressor happened, be it physical, mental or emotional), a voice inside me tried to whisper very unhelpful words of advice. Stop it … the healing is already happening. Stop getting in the way. Listen to the pain; it has something to say. Be gentle. Trust in your body’s innate intelligence as a master healer. Surrender to the healing flow. It hurts because banging it created a little mini trauma and now all kinds of healing agents are being sent that way. The temporary inflammation around an acute injury is a band aid to protect the area until the healing cycle has finished. The pain offers a cue of how much and what is good to do during this healing time. Pain is a part of life; suffering is optional. Trusting, surrendering and forgiving and loving are the balms to the mind’s self-created suffering and the key to healing and wellbeing.

I had recently learned about the ancient shamanic Hawaiian practice of ho’oponopono, a prayer for healing, and repeated it quietly to myself. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I had been angry at myself for being careless and injuring myself and then frustrated that my body was sensitive and couldn’t get over a perceived small thing like a banged elbow more quickly. In flipping the script, I apologized to myself and asked forgiveness for the initial act of self-hurt and later acts of getting in the way of my own healing through my anxiety and compulsive-testing-to-see-if-the-pain-was-gone-habits. I apologized for never noticing my elbow before, for taking it for granted. I thanked my body for the amazing job she was doing to heal, how resilient she is. I thanked my mind for trying to help, knowing she didn’t mean ill, she’s trying and will keep trying. I said I love you, mind, body, spirit. Thank you for your infinite patience and forgiveness and grace and love. Thank you for letting me choose a new pattern of gentleness, awareness, love, forgiveness and healing. I will also try to do better at listening to your wisdom, that quiet voice inside, before it has to get to a physical pain manifestation, a stronger reminder. Perhaps if before I banged my elbow, I had noticed that my energy felt anxious and scattered that morning, I could have taken a few slow breaths, grounded myself and listened to the slow-down reminder without my elbow having to bear the brunt of that lesson. I really am sorry again dear right elbow and I love you.

Remembering the Magic

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on what it means to feel connected – to God, to Spirit, to Source, to the Magic of All That Is. There are so many possible words to describe this feeling, this grace trust state of being in divine flow. And great poets and writers, artists and mystics, have all tried. To be clear, I’m not about to try to compete with them. I’m just saying that words as much as I adore them are not sufficient to describe the feeling of remembering the Magic, the Divine.

I say feel connected rather than be connected because of course, I (we) am always in fact connected, I just sometimes have a little temporary memory loss and forget about the Magic even when staring right at it. With that thought in mind, here are a few musings or let’s say tips and tricks that sometimes work for me. An anti-forgetfulness spell if you will.

1) Throw away your phone. I repeat throw away your phone. Or well at least hide it for a bit. Phones, email, laptops, social media can all be useful tools in this age; yet they are generally not the most supportive for coming into presence which is a necessarily condition to remembering the Magic. Of course, it’s not practical for most, including me, to throw away my phone and technology nor would I want to as it is an awesome tool for many things including connecting with loved ones who don’t live close by. More it’s the idea of being intentional with phone and technology use. Having set times where perhaps you don’t use your phone or have it nearby. I try not to use my phone right before bed or right when I wake up and like to keep it outside of the bedroom for better sleep. You could also experiment with doing your own mini retreats a few hours or a day where you take a technology break and go into nature or whatever brings you joy and peace.

2) Come into presence. Be aware. Non-judgmentally. Compassionately. Play with your awareness with curiosity turning towards yourself and your surroundings and others with fascination and compassion. This state of compassionate, curious presence is intricately linked with remembering the Magic. When I’m fully here in this moment not wondering off to the past or future. And, when you think about it, these linear time past and future concepts don’t actually exist outside of our minds since we flow from one present moment to the next, each moment incredibly unique, like a snowflake where no two are alike. That’s magic.

3) Breathe. Slow, long exhale followed by a natural easy inhale. Slowing things down. Repeat as many times as desired. Slow breathing is an amazing tool for connecting back to your body and the present moment and from there feeling the Magic is there on your next breath. Isn’t it amazing how your body knows exactly what to do?

4) Kirtan. Kirtan or call and respond chanting with music and sacred mantras is my all-time favorite spiritual practice. And without fail it will always connect me back to the Magic. There are many different styles of kirtan and ways to practice from solo or small group to larger communities so the sky’s the limit. Jai Uttal has one of the most beautiful introductions to what kirtan is, so I am sharing that here since he explains it far more eloquently than I could. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHKO4_VwJcw

5) Hot and cold therapy. Ok this one will be a blog of its own at some point, I’m sure yet it’s hard not to mention. Let’s call it a magic bonus spell. One of my favorite healing modalities is to visit a Nordic spa (there are an abundance of Nordic spas in the Quebec province of Canada my favorite place to visit) and get really hot in a steam room for 10-15min and then jump in a cold plunge (generally anywhere between 50- and 60-degrees Fahrenheit) for 10sec to 10min and then relax after and repeat that cycle 2-3 times. A cold plunge may sound scary at first and it took me a while to work up the courage to try but the feeling after getting out is amazing. Think whole body tingles and energy and an instant hotline connection to remembering the Magic. A home practice that can hint at the healing magic of this practice is simply to end your showers with a little bit of cold (something I’ve been experimenting with lately) or better yet take a very hot bath and then a cold shower.

6) Do something that involves moving your body. Any kind of physical activity (bonus points if it’s outside in nature) will get your energy flowing and I’m always amazed how even if I wasn’t in the best mood beforehand, if I go for a hike or bike ride or play tennis or ping pong, most of the time, I’m going to feel more present after and more connected to the Magic.