This blog was originally going to be about marinating in liminal spaces and then, well, I was meditating outside and the leaves were falling around me and the topic of balance entered into my awareness. Maybe it’s the fact that we just entered Libra season astrologically speaking (at the time my initial writing of this), the sign of balance, not to mention the autumn equinox with day and night equal lengths. One thing led to another and here we are with a blog on liminal spaces and balance beams and who knows what else since I am totally writing this stream of consciousness style. Welcome to Kalindi’s mind musings. The 1, 2, 3 numberings and such that follow are in no way reflective of any semblance of order. Proceed at your own reading risk.
1) Liminal spaces: Liminal spaces are physical, mental, emotional and/or spiritual seasons of transition, of uncertainty, of unmaking the old and weaving the new in a caterpillar cocoon fashion. These phases can feel like the ground is less solid than usual or like floating in a dreamworld trying to decipher what’s real, what’s alive and sacred for me right now. What kind of butterfly do I want to emerge as when I come out of my cocoon. For a while I was both unaware of and then resisting the idea of being in a liminal space. More recently I have started to accept and perhaps even embrace the liminality. Cocoons can be quite cozy, am I right? Until I got the jolt on the head about balance. Before that though, I’ll share this poem I wrote recently on liminal spaces for a little further exploration into that topic.
Liminal space
Spaces physical, mental, emotional spiritual
Of transition, uncertainty, unknown
Of possibility and transformation
The caterpillar waiting praying to emerge
As a butterfly
The Phoenix burst into flame
In ashes
Waiting to be reborn
I’m a chameleon
Shape-shifting
Changing colors
Turning invisible
It’s my superpower
And my kryptonite
I can be anyone or anything
I can see all the threads
Of possibilities and perspectives
So many colors
So many energies
Maybe this is why I’ve never been able to figure out my Myers Briggs type or enneagram?
Find your spirit animal – what if I have 10?
I’m marinating in this liminal space
A womb of creation
Patiently waiting
Healing, balancing
Until I emerge
A chameleon reborn
As a shape shifting dragon
Ready to fly
I’m a shape shifting dragon
Sometimes big
Sometimes small
Sometimes breathing fire
Sometimes shedding tears
Sometimes fast
Sometimes slow
Sometimes golden like the sun
Sometimes shimmery turquoise like the sea
From chameleon to dragon and back
I’m a part of everything
And everything is a part of me
I’m fluid, flowing, shifting
Air to earth
Water to fire
Elements merging
And swirling
And caressing
In a kaleidoscope of colors
Visble and invisible
I dance on the edges
Of liminal space
And I am
Enough
2) Balance beams – don’t get too comfy in one spot: I’ve always been someone that craves comfort and security. Apparently as a little kid, when my mom moved one piece of furniture slightly, I had a small meltdown. Change!? Definitely not. I also am someone who longs for feeling the magic of life and if I could have it my way having every moment feel completely magical and joyous and loving with no worries or cares in the world would be amazing. So basically a fantasy magical dreamworld. The thing is though, and this was the jolt, I’m not here to hide away in my fantasy imagination worlds. I can definitely visit there and often but I have to live here, now, in each moment of life which is going to include the challenging ones and the mundane ones. And there’s a secret in that too. The magic is in the fantasy world wanderings absolutely and it’s amazing. And the magic is also in the mundane and challenging.
It’s in learning to walk my own personal balance beam, with spirit fantasy world on one side and this world on the other. It’s learning to balance work and play. Laughter and tears. Speaking and listening. Stillness and movement. Music and silence. Hot and cold. Inhaling and exhaling. It’s eating nourishing whole foods – not too much and not too little. It’s learning to do everything in balance. Not too much and not too little. It’s seeing positive and negative simply as energy, two halves of a magic coin. And as I learned in my childhood (and adult) beloved fantasy novels, magic (energy) is neither good or bad, it’s about what I do with it, how I see it, how I use it, how I balance it. So how does this tie in with the liminal space exploration? Great question. I think where I was getting with that is that I was noticing myself having some fear about coming out of the liminal space when that time was right. And there is the tie to the balancing act. Liminal cocoon spaces and spreading wings in the next butterfly (or dragon) incarnation.
3) It’s a daily practice. The epiphanies, the elaborate ceremonies and rituals, the mystical awakenings and experiences. They are amazing. They are magic. The part that sometimes gets forgotten though is the daily practice that must come after. The epiphanies and awakenings are gifts of inspiration. They are like falling in love. Like a lightning bolt. Like sky diving. Loving though both self and others, that is the ultimate balancing beam experiment. To love is a daily practice, a vow. It involves mental discipline (you know … to quiet those critical and fearful thoughts that like to get in the way of love), boundaries, awareness and infinite patience. It is a practice of doing my best each day, knowing that my best will change, just like each day changes. It’s realizing that life is a giant liminal space made up of a tapestry of a thousand liminal space weavings. It is an undoing and becoming in a beautiful spiral infinity loop journey to ever deepening depths of divine love.
I’d like to end with Rumi’s The Guest House, the first and so far, only poem I’ve memorized. I think it embodies a lot of the ideas I’ve been trying to share and expresses them much more eloquently.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and
invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.